Saturday, March 3, 2012

We've moved!

I haven't posted to this blog in quite sometime.  In fact, I've stopped posting to this blog altogether.  That's the bad news.

The good news is I'm still posting.  Here's the link:

No Seas Pelangoche

Like this blog, No Seas Pelangoche is dedicated to all the subjects your teacher, Spanish books and podcasts won't touch - swearing, sex and any other inappropriate topics I can find.

My apologies for not giving you all an update sooner, but better late than never right?

See you at No Seas Pelangoche!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Quiero que me hagas la puñeta rusa

The last couple of weeks we've looked at some pretty interesting language, so let's turn our attention to something a little racier.

Puñeta rusa

Also known as a paja rusa, paja china, or a paja cubana.

Yes, I know, having a few synonyms for today's vocabulary word of choice is great, but so far I still haven't told you what it means.  So, without further delay:

A puñta rusa is what we call a titty fuck.   So when we examine our sentence:

Quiero que me hagas la puñeta rusa
I want to titty fuck you

Now, to my knowledge, puñeta rusa is a Mexican term.    Paja rusa, paja chino, or paja cubana may be a bit more universal.  If you want to use any of the other expressions instead of puñeta rusa, just replace puñeta rusa with your expression of choice

Quiero que me hagas la paja rusa

Quiero que me hagas la paja china

Quiero que me hagas la paja cubana

If you want to offer someone a puñeta rusa, you can say:

Quiero hacerte la puñeta rusa

Quiero hacerte la paja rusa

Quiero hacerte la paja china

Quiero hacerte la paja cubana

Obviously that piece of advice is for the ladies.  Unless, well, no, let's not go there.  At least not in this post.
You might be tempted to think I picked this up from a cab driver or in a seedy bar from a bunch of tough looking guys with tatoos, but believe it or not, I learned this from a group of very nice young ladies in a respectable bar during one of my trips to México.  And sooner or later some the other words they taught me will show up on this blog as well. 

Don't ask me what this has to with a russian (rusa) , cuban (cubana), or a chinese woman (china), but that's the way it works. 

I will leave you with one other vocabulary word very closely related to this subject -- tetas, or tits.  Clearly having tetas grandes is an advantage for this type activity.  But more on the subject of tetas in another post.

Well, that's it for today.  Actually, it's probably more like that's enough for today, jaja. 

¡Espero que te sirva!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

¡Vete a la chingada!

You're going to see the phrase "a la chingada" a lot as we talk about more mala palabras de México.  

Remember, everything you'll learn on this blog is going to be rude and not for polite company.  And "vete a la chingada" is no exception.  In fact, this is pretty damn strong.  And that's an understatement.

It basically means "go to hell" but with the intensity of "go fuck yourself".  

This phrase really doesn't require much explanation on how to use it.  Anytime you feel the need to tell someone off, this is a good choice.  And if it's directed at you, you've made someone pretty angry. 

Many people speculate over exactly where "la chingada" is.  Well it turns it was quite easy to solve that mystery with Google at my side.  When someone tells you to go the "la chingada", you can consider booking your next vacation at  La Chingada.

Ok, that link actual leads to page that makes fun of the phrase "a la chingada".  But I'm sure you'll figure that out as soon as you read the page.   

I encourage you ¡Vete a la chingada! for a few laughs and learn a little bit more about chingar and la chingada, and ten cuidado (be careful)  with this phrase.

¡Cuidense bien!

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Pinche idiota

Pinche is one of those words I like to call a "sentence enhacer".  It puts extra emphasis on the subject matter at hand.

If you've been studying Spanish for a while, you've likely heard the word pinche.  Especially if you've been in any type of social setting where people start letting their hair down.  A few chelas bien fría (nice cold beers) and all of sudden the Spanish language starts getting a little more colorful.  Although some people don't need beer for that. 

So what does "pinche" mean?  It's somewhere between damn, god-damn and fucking in English, depending on who you ask.  But my understanding is that it's closer to "fucking".  Either way, we don't really need an exact translation, what we do need to know is that "pinche" is a pretty strong word, so it's not for polite company.

Let's look at our example sentence:

Pinche idiota
Fucking idiot

Sure, calling someone an idiota is a pretty good insulto (insult), but when you throw in our sentence enhancer, pinche, now you're getting serious! 

Let's try a few more:

Ese pinche carro es una porquería
That fucking car is a piece of junk

Me cae mal ese pinche cabrón
I don't like that fucking asshole

You can throw in pinche just about anywhere:

Pinche pendejo
Fucking dumbass

Pinche taxi
Fucking taxi

Pinche viejo
Fucking old man

In fact, I actually heard someone use "pinche vieja" in a restaurant one day, it gave me a good chuckle. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this pinche entrada (blog post). 

Goodbye for now amigos!

**EDIT:  This blog is no longer active, but you can find more of the same great content at:

No Seas Pelangoche -

Monday, February 15, 2010

Te voy a chingar

Chingar is such a versatile verb, it seems that it can be used to say just about anything.   In this case, it translates quite nice to English...

"I'm going to fuck you up"

Hopefully the only time you'll hear  this is as a joke, which is how I heard it.  The good news is it should be fairly easy to tell if someone is joking or not with this one.  And if they aren't joking, then you've mananged to get yourself into a pickle, hopefully not with something you learned from my blog, LOL.

And like everything else in Spanish, there's more than one way to skin a cat.

Voy a partir tu mandarina en gajos
I'm going to tear your mandarin orange into slices.

Te voy a partir la madre, hijo de la chingada
I'm going to split your mother you son of a bitch.

Well, our second example doesn't translate so well, but both examples mean the same thing as "Te voy a chingar"....somebody wants to kick your ass. 

Since we're on the topic of bodily harm, there's some more vocabulary that fits right in...putazos, golpes and chingadazos.  In fact, I actually discussed putazos and golpes in my other blog,  you can read the entry here.

But basically, golpes are punches or hits of the normal sort.  When you give out putazos and chingadazos, you're really handing out an ass-whooping.  You can think of the two as synonyms, but do remember they're both a bit crude.  In fact, the picture below gives you a visual image of chingadazos, but if you click the link you'll see a very entertaining video that  brings chingadazos to life.

I hope you enjoy the video, I always get a good laugh out of it. 

¡Nos vemos!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Tienes el pito grande

Our phrase for today translates to "You have a big whistle". 

Given the nature of this blog, you've probably already guessed we aren't talking about whistles.  So then, what are we talking about?

Pito officially means whistle.  Unofficially, pito is a euphemism for penis.   The medical term for penis is pene. Pito is just one of many nicknames of the male body part.  Pito actually isn't all that rude, it's more along the lines of "willy". 

But this blog isn't about nice words, so let's look at some other options.

 Pinga is another euphamism for penis, and is without a doubt, very rude.   While you may see some people translate this as penis, it's really more like the word dick in English. 

Verga is another very common word for penis.  It's actually a nautical term, meaning yard, but in this context translates to cock.  Again, pretty vulgar.

Getting back to our phrase, "Tienes el pito grande", there's another way to say this..."tienes un grandote".  This one is more like "you have a big one".  The penis part is implied.

Well, that's it for now.  I'm not sure what I'll be talking about next, but rest assured, it will be something to improve your knowledge of groseras and palabrotas

Thursday, February 4, 2010


Panocha.  This is an interesting word, because at some point in history it took a whole new meaning.

Take a look at this picture, and for those of you who've heard this word before,this picture is not what you think...

Panocha is actually a form of brown sugar, but I don't suggest that you walk into a grocery store asking for panocha, because you'll get several rude looks, and you'd be getting off easy.

Somewhere along the way panocha became a vulgar term for vagina (vagina is the same word in both Spanish and English, just a different pronunciation).  In English, panocha means pussy.  And it's just as vulgar in Spanish as pussy is in English. 

You can't use panocha as an insult, it's strictly for the female body part.

Below is a list of the other Spanish words I know of that you can use to talk about that part of the female anatomy:

Vagina - This is the medical term
Almeja, Almejita - Actually means clam
Araña - Spider
Chuca - Not sure if there is an English translation
Panochita - This is a cuter (but still vulgar) way of saying panocha

That's it for now.  And ladies, I haven't forgotten you.  My next post will be about terms for the male body part!

**EDIT:  This blog is no longer active, but you can find more of the same great content at:

No Seas Pelangoche -